The husband does not want a child, the reasons for what to do

Sooner or later, any woman begins to visit thoughts about motherhood, which can not be said about men. Many do not show much enthusiasm when it comes to children. Unwillingness to have children husbands justify various reasons, mainly, objective. What to do if the husband does not want a child, and the woman is about to go?



The reasons for the unwillingness of a man to have a child and what to do.

Infantility of the husband.
In this case, a man does not consider himself sufficiently mature to become a parent. Not yet. Many men use this excuse, but for a woman it is completely unacceptable. A man is able to become a father even at the age of 60, whereas a woman has a recommended age for childbirth from 20 to 30 years. Therefore, to wait until, at last, he ripens for the continuation of the family (over 1.5 years), the woman does not make sense.

If you immediately choose a mature man for yourself in the companions of life, you must understand that at this age he does not want to have children at all (it happens rarely). Strange as it may seem, the infantilism of a woman in such a situation plays an important role. A man can simply be afraid that he will have to raise more than one child (his wife), and already two, and maybe three. In this situation, if a woman seriously wants to keep a relationship and give birth to a loved one, it is important to change, show him that she is an adult, not a child. To begin with, you need to learn how to control your emotions, to control yourself, to cry less, to be capricious and offended by trifles, to learn to make compromises if necessary, to show your discretion and serious attitude, to win his respect and trust, to show that she is a person.

Insecurity in a woman.
If there is uncertainty about his own woman, the man will not want to have children with her. In this situation, the child is perceived by him, as one of the ways of a woman to bind to or hold him. Hence, if there is a similar situation in the family, a woman needs to properly analyze her relationship with her husband, make him trust her more, be sure of her fidelity, understand that you can rely on her. It is important to treat with attention and care for a man, they appreciate it. Know how to listen to a man, if necessary, raise the strength of the spirit, support in all his endeavors, and never tell him about his shortcomings directly.

Uncertainty about their financial situation.
Material security, stability, confidence in the future, the availability of an apartment for many men is the main platform for acquiring children. Of course, it is important that the child had his own room, not the meter per meter, important material well-being, but this is not a reason for a man to deny himself and his wife the joy of being parents.

In this situation, a woman should calmly explain to her husband about the costs that will inevitably arise, but there will not be too many of them. In the end, relatives can help, and she herself will not stay at home all the time, she will definitely go to work after she arranges for the kindergarten. In the meantime, it can minimize unnecessary spending (its own), create savings, take a more serious approach to the family budget. In addition, if all had children after assessing their financial well-being, then the population of the planet decreased at times. Undoubtedly, difficulties will arise, but everything passes, and the child is a part of your soul that will remain with you forever. Also, her husband can give examples of couples who have achieved financial success, already having kids. And to achieve prosperity in the material plan it is possible all life or, anyway, not a single year, then the state of health will not allow the birth of "offspring", time goes on. Therefore, follow the famous folk wisdom: "If God gives the child, he will give to the child."

Medical reasons.
In recent times, cases of birth of children with deviations and various congenital diseases have become more frequent. The man's reluctance to become a father in this case can be justified, especially if your family has hereditary diseases or there were cases of pregnancy pathologies ( frozen pregnancy , miscarriage , etc.), that is, there is a real risk of the birth of a not healthy baby. In this case, the problem must be solved with the involvement of specialists, assessing all risks. Communication with a psychologist here will not be superfluous either. If the risk of developing a problem pregnancy and the negative consequences for a child is high, it is better to give up the idea of ​​becoming pregnant and giving birth to a baby. You can think about adoption.

Negative experience of one of her husband's friends.
For example, the best friend broke up with his wife, against the background of these events with the child, he does not see often. Or, for example, the man himself from a large family, he lacked love, affection and attention of his parents. Examples may be mass, the task of a woman to prove to her husband that the fate of the family is in their own hands.

Presence of children from a previous marriage.
The second half has a child, and sometimes not one from another marriage (marriages). A wife can also have children. The desire of a woman to have a common child with this person is natural, especially if she has not yet been fortunate enough to become a mother. She sincerely does not understand why he does not want to. In this situation, you need to seriously explain to him the importance of the child for a woman. Even if she has children, the desire to walk around to feel this happiness, to give birth from a loved one can be very strong. It is necessary to take a decision on both sides, take into account the desire of both sides. In no case do not "adjust the zalet"! Many naively believe that they should give birth as a man, after seeing the baby and taking him in his arms, immediately change his mind, be happy and happy. There are many examples where such a step leads to sad consequences.

In this situation, whenever possible, you can often go with your husband to visit relatives, acquaintances or friends, where there are small children. Let the husband hold the child in his arms, play with him, maybe he will wake up again the desire to become a dad, in any case, he will not remain indifferent. During the purchase of children's things or toys for toddlers friends and godchildren, it is also possible, if possible, to take a man with him. This fascinating process will help him remember what kind of happiness it is to be a father.

Morally not ready for responsibility or fear of responsibility.
The appearance of children in the world requires tremendous responsibility from both parents. It's natural to be afraid of this. Another thing is when a man stubbornly does not want a child, because he does not see or does not connect his future destiny with the current wife, accordingly, a child from her in his life also has no place. And all the talk about responsibility is a simple excuse. In this case, you need to think about whether a man is needed? Is it necessary to go along with him in life hand in hand next? After all, as it became known recently, the continuation of the family is the absolute desire of any man, and if a man loves a truly woman, he always wants a child from her (with the exception of health problems). Here is such an arithmetic.

Desire to live for yourself or simple selfishness.
Basically, this is inherent in young guys who do not want to change their way of life, deny themselves entertainment and pleasures because of the birth of children. Mostly, they justify this by saying that they are still ahead. I think that it makes no sense to remain with such men, therefore, even in case of an accidental flight such husbands will not become a good support for women and good fathers for children. Here the woman herself decides.

There are other reasons that husbands refer to in their unwillingness to have children. Here you can distinguish the fear or fear that after the appearance of the baby the woman will spend less time with her husband, that her attractiveness after pregnancy, like sex life, will drop sharply, she will grow fat and join the family. Often a man refuses to give birth to a child, fears for life and health of his wife, fear of remaining alone, if suddenly pregnancy and childbirth end tragically.

Sometimes the parents of the husband act against the child, believing that this woman does not suit him, that he becomes a parent early, etc.

What should a woman want to give birth?
If a man for a woman's desire to have children from him responds with a refusal, a woman needs to find out the true reason for this decision. Maybe he really does not see his wife next to him in his later life, thinking about bachelor life. Then talking about a child is a waste of time. Here you need to think about whether you need to continue to live with this person.

If the reason is not this, if a man loves a woman, you can try to persuade him, using all "influential" relatives and friends. The majority's opinion is not easy to challenge.

To calm down all his worries and doubts, to convince him that the child will make their relationship even stronger, and that love is stronger.

You can try to wait a couple of years, maybe he'll change his mind, wait for more - there is no sense.

If the husband's family speaks against pregnancy, it is important to find a common language with the mother-in-law , to explain to her that no one is claiming her services as a nanny or any material help. In general, if parents have a strong influence on an already grown-up son, there is reason to think, because in the future there can be a variety of situations in which they will not miss the opportunity to intervene in the relationship between spouses and family matters. Is it worth while living with my mama's son?

If a man does not concede in any way, does not even want to start a conversation about the continuation of the family, in this situation, a woman should probably make the only correct decision. If she wants to experience a joyful feeling of motherhood, but this man will never give it to him, then it is definitely necessary to run away in different directions, even if she loves him very much. Either agree with his decision, live without children. There is no other. In any case, solve the woman.