Marriage of convenience, pros and cons

In our society, it is customary to oppose marriage to the union of love. However, there is an inaccuracy: in such a marriage, love can also be present. In this case, the marriage union consists of considerations of the type, this person suits me, he wants love, and I want the same, we will all get it. Such views can also be regarded as quite reasonable, because people value love in a relationship and strive for it.



In our time, a marriage of convenience is considered common, because by nature people have become more self-interested. However, such alliances took place at all times. If the noble family wanted to be related to a family like them, they agreed on the marriage of their children, and this was done long before they grew up. This was done on special terms, which were beneficial to both sides. With the help of such marriage, families solved territorial, financial and other important issues, while this was considered the norm, the usual way of connecting people.

Today, such a marriage is not uncommon either. If a couple decides to conclude such an alliance, then she fully understands all the pros and cons of such an alliance. It is generally accepted that marriage by calculation can not initially become a lasting and happy union. And, nevertheless, reality shows the fallacy of this judgment.

Calculations at the conclusion of the marriage union can be very different: the desire to improve social status, improve welfare, for reasons of economy, get a residence permit or basic everyday amenities or comfort, fear or escape from loneliness, the desire to have a stable and legitimate sex, the desire for a full family for the child etc. In most cases, marriage by calculation is basically based on material considerations, when one of the spouses wants to improve their well-being at the expense of the other. But often the second party also has its own interests. In this case it is important that the calculation is correct. For example, a well-to-do and a young man with a serious connection and authority in the society, who is provided and has lived in life, must have a decent woman next to him: healthy, young, attractive and pleasant in communication. It is with such a spouse that it will not be a shame to appear in society. In addition, such a woman will create a good image among partners and competitors. In addition, in the future this woman will give him heirs, who will become a worthy continuation of the family. In this case, the calculation of a man is understandable, but a woman has many benefits from such an alliance. Often, of course, such a man about the selfish interests of a woman is aware, but closes his eyes to this, because his goal to find a charming and intelligent wife was achieved.

Today, there are a lot of prejudices about a marriage of convenience in society. For some reason, most of us have a knowingly negative attitude towards such an alliance. However, to consider that an alliance without love, based only on pure calculation, can not be long and happy is completely wrong. Why is it shameful to live with a reliable and wealthy person, because the success of a man in the social plan speaks of his self-actualization in life. And for this it is worthy of respect. Unless you will find the woman who would refuse to live with the man, worthy respect? At the same time, a stable and prosperous life, in which there are no problems for thousands of needy families. I personally tend more to the opinion that such a marriage can be long and harmonious, provided that the calculation is correct. By the way, statistics confirm this. In the West, marriages for love are much more likely to disintegrate (40%) than marriages for convenience (5-7 %%). In Russia, at the end of the nineties, 4.9% of Russians made alliances out of mercenary motives, and today about sixty percent of alliances are concluded by calculation.

By the way, today a strong half of the world does not mind such an alliance. In our time, nobody is surprised by the marriage of a young man with a handsome appearance on a successful woman in all respects "in the years". And such unions on the statistics are not so short-term. Love, then no one canceled.

No less common reason contributing to the entry into the marriage union by calculation, is the desire of one of the partners to take a certain social position for the realization of any goals (the device for prestigious work, the enrollment of children in a prestigious educational institution, etc.). Many enter into such a union in order to meet their own need for caring for someone or to feel such care for themselves. Such a calculation already has a more psychological aspect than a monetary or social one. The desire to create a family can also be considered a kind of calculation. The prospective benefit is expressed in material support, or assistance in the upbringing of children. Often, the creation of a family forces the need to perform economic functions (washing, cooking, cleaning and other household chores), which can be shifted to a future partner.

To join a marriage union, people can combine the desire to have children or the fear of loneliness. But such marriages are usually concluded at a more mature age, when people consciously take this step, looking for a better candidate.

To marriage on the calculation is still attributed dynastic and unions for political reasons.

Very often a couple marries for convenience, based on rational considerations. Such a union solves many problems. Until the union is beneficial to both partners, it will be durable and stable for a very long period of time. It also happens that such a comfortable living together begins to develop into a more romantic relationship, and sometimes in true love.

In general, according to statistics, settlement marriages are considered stronger than for love. At the same time, if the interests of the housing and money are at the heart of the union, lasting marriages are almost always met, but there are no happy ones among them.

In general, if you love, in any case, you will think and calculate well. A man, before asking for a woman's hand, will necessarily think about whether he can support a family, whether he is ready to become a father. A woman, before agreeing, should honestly answer herself to the questions: can she make this person happy, will she be able to build relationships, will she be able to make compromises? A truly loving person will necessarily think about the future that awaits their union.

The most accurate calculation for the conclusion of marriage is one that takes into account the interests of the partner. If there are children, then their interests too, including future children. It's good to take into account your interests, but in a couple's relationship only if you think about what your partner will get from the union with you, you will be able to build something strong. A marriage of convenience implies a certain transaction, and it must be mutually beneficial.

And yet many consider marriage without love not a full union. Yes, it's good to live with an independent, wealthy and reliable person, to respect him, but without love such an alliance is a kind of suffering, because some things have to be done not for pleasure, but because it's so necessary. To make the marriage happy and long, it is important to take into account not only the material side, but also some other serious aspects: the compatibility of partners in the physical and psychological sense, the life experience of the future spouse, the ability to concede and adjust, etc. Therefore, if you conclude such a union, you must first calculate all the pros and cons.

Pros of marriage by calculation.

• The union on both sides is a responsible and conscious step, the spouses are not in the power of the senses, they take a decision on a sober head.
• Everyone gets the realization of the intended goal.
• In such a union, the spouses do not have any love afflictions, they are spared from reproaches in lack of attention, etc.
• There are no reasons for abuse and quarrels.
• There is no risk that the spouse will stop loving.
• Execution of "conjugal duties" may not be mandatory, the main thing is to conceive children.
• In such an alliance life does not threaten the disintegration of the family.

Cons of marriage by calculation.

• Lack of love.
• Sex is not a pleasure, but a hated duty.
• If the spouse pursued self-serving goals in marriage, she may be under the constant and total control of her husband.
• There is a probability of a "life in a golden cage" situation.
• Full dependence on the person, in whose hands there are money resources.
• A spouse-businessman is often absent from home, travels on business trips accompanied by long-legged secretaries and rests in clubs and other elite establishments with girls of easy virtue.
• Marriage "for money" often provides for the man-manager's relationship with finances to his wife, as an acquired thing.
• The party that violated the unspoken agreement risks remaining in the broken trough.

Today, in Western countries, the trend of marriage is on the decline, due to the existence of a marriage contract. This document provides for conditions of possession of property, which is usually in separate possession. Therefore, the concept of "marriage of convenience" is gradually replaced by a rational marriage. Such an alliance is based not on the financial or social status of any party, but on the hope of creating a strong alliance in which spiritual peace, respect, mutual understanding and reliability will be present. It is in this type of union that warmer relations, rather than just friendship, often appear, and then love can arise. As a rule, such a marriage provides for the presence of children in the future.